“Living usually searched rather unimportant, instead outstanding incidents, apart from my relationships therefore the birth of one’s pupils. Instead, since I happened first off staying a log, I seem to have discovered that a word or an enthusiastic intonation is just as extremely important, or more, as compared to things our company is accustomed to thought crucial. ”
When we can discover ways to see the smallest items that occurs everyday, after that possibly we are able to learn how to really understand the wonders definition out of existence
Inside the November 1950 40 –three-year-dated Valeria Cossati commands a black laptop from a beneficial tobacconist – an effective “forbidden” goods given that cigarette is not allowed to sell anything but cigarette smoking to his customers. Their own record records provide us with a window with the Valeria’s household, their own family unit members, and you will Valeria herself as the noted across the next 6 months. Valeria’s lives revolves around her family – their spouse Michele, along with her a couple of grown up youngsters Riccardo and you can Mirella. Economically they are taking from the but they are perhaps not really-away from. Valeria is not merely a homemaker and in addition operates to enhance their particular husband’s income- an undeniable fact that is frowned upon from the her very own mom whoever family relations arises from way more wealthy roots. Valeria are involved during the a conventional marriage despite her obtaining versatility to your workplace. She actually is conflicted however, not able to share their own true attitude, truthfully provided that it can crack the latest painful and sensitive balance this lady has built in her own family unit members with greater regularity that not in the rates regarding stifling her own wishes and you can wants.
“I normally have a desire to confide for the an income individual, not only in which computer. However, I’ve not ever been in a position to. Stronger than the will so you can confide ‘s the fear of destroying something which I have already been design daily, for 20 years, the single thing I features.”
She and additionally offers their particular thriving friendship having an associate, a relationship that doesn’t include a preconceived group of standards, as opposed to all the their own most other dating
Valeria is actually nervous and you will consumed from the feelings off shame and you may worries you to definitely their unique miracle record would-be found. Many times during the her record she shares exactly how tough it is having their unique to hide that it log as well as how she keeps changing where she has they. She yearns for an effective “space” you to she can call her very own – her room is actually filled from the their spouse who uses day paying attention in order to music otherwise reading in his sparetime, their unique pupils have their own rooms and she actually is leftover in order to produce their own records in the evening once men and women are asleep within the lingering anxiety about becoming found.
“Because when We write in this laptop, Personally i think I am committing a significant sin, a good sacrilege: it’s because if We were speaking with new devil. Opening they, my personal give tremble; I’m afraid. We understand the light users, this new thicker parallel contours prepared to receive the chronicle out-of my personal coming months, as well as ahead of You will find existed all of them, I am distressed. I know you to definitely my personal responses into the items We write-down in more detail direct us to learn me more intimately everyday. Perhaps you’ll find people that, knowing themselves, can raise; although top I understand me, the greater missing I be.”
Valeria’s “forbidden” laptop, turns out to be a store to own her extremely individual view, a location she can vent their frustrations, anger, and you can dissatisfaction with the their particular matrimony, their particular husband, her people and lifestyle typically. Valeria’s diary brings their particular a vocals together with possibility to end up being herself and learn herself even if this woman is not able to display an identical with somebody. Valeria struggles as the she reflects on the relationship and attempts to hold the prices and you can values she’s followed all their own lifestyle. She’s incapable of reconcile to your method her people, her daughter particularly decides to head their own. Their unique partner attributes their issues having Marilla to help you “maternal jealousy” gives you a sense of how marginalized Valeria is in her own household.